Response paragraph strategies and exercise

Here is a summary of the recommendations the two sections made for writing effective response paragraphs:

1. Respond directly to the assignment; don't include extraneous information.
2. Have a clear point / claim.
3. Use examples to support statements.

Response paragraph exercise
Working in groups, read the assignment and student responses below. Decide which responses are more effective, and why; and which responses are less effective, and how they could be improved. Discuss and make a decision on how long (approximately how many word) a paragraph needs to be to be substantive. Present your group’s results to the class.

Web response prompt:
Briefly (about 150 - 200 words) compare and contrast Schivelbusch’s ways of working with the methods of Diamond and Limerick. You should take into account previous responses (if any) of your classmates.

Response 1
Schivelbusch VS Limerick
Nationality:S=german,L=american.
Place:S=US,Europe,L=US.
Time:S=19th century,L=16th century-today.
Object of observation:S=Technical inventions and people,L=Emotions and prejudices of people
Purpose:S=to find an answer,L=to refutate prejudice
Readibility:S=easier,L=difficult
Time sequence:S=generally chronological,L=random
Style:S=impresonal,scientific,exact,economy,quotes,no stories,facts,ilustrations L=personal,emotive,narrative,stories,philosophy,sociology,longer chapters

Response 2
In the first place i want to compare and contrast the most obvious characteristics of all three readings.
Diamonds, as well as Limericks, stories narrate historcial events that really happened. Schivelbusch on the other hand is describing a process and the pos. and neg. impacts of an invention, the invention of the railroad.
Diamonds and Limrick readings describe the Western land/ Peru as a territory big,unknown and dangerous, while Schivelbusch describes how the invention of the railroad ment a shrinking of space, a step forward in prosperity and opportunity, and eventually the reducement of intercultural diversity and conflicts.

The big picture of the comparison of those two works with Schivelbushs Railroad journey shows us how standards of life changed in the time between these works were written. Limericks text shows us an America that is just being discovered, with all its dangers, and schivelbuschs reading presents an america that stands just before its "real" capturing.

Furtehrmore i must admit that i also see parallels or possibility of comparison in the reading from previous week, the dec. o. independance and the song of myself. In the DoI the founding fathers describe the lives of their fellow citizens and critisize the general political construct and explain how the life of a free American should be like.

The song of myself transmitts or describes, universally speaking, exactely the expected or wished result of the upcoming political change, with the election of Thomas Jefferson for president, and the impacts on the common American citizen.
The poetic self identifies himself with every other individual and it is in perfect harmony and divinity with them. In this poem the grass, a very important symbol, stands for the conituity of life beyond death. Which can be interpreted as a harmonic and peaceful society, just as the founding fathers dreamed it to be.

Response 3
Schivelbusch describes in his book The Railway Journey the development of a railway in Europe and in America. He focuses his attention especially on comparing and contrasting the different approaches in this development, which was caused mainly by cultural differences, distinct mentalities and customs of European and American travelers, economical reasons (such as the price of a land and a labor), natural character of a landscape, difference in distances between the cities or places connected by the railway, etc.

Schivelbusch’s work is merely based on a vast variety of different sources relevant to his topic. He quotes plenty of authors to support his arguments. Despite his arguments are clearly built, I found quite difficult to follow his thoughts mainly due to an overuse of sources. His approach to writing about the history varies significantly from the one of Limeric or Diamond.
Limeric uses an entertaining narrative style, telling stories of ordinary people. She does not quote other historians to support her arguments. Being very “light” and fluent, her texts remind of a tale.

Similarly to Limerick, Diamond does not quote other sources either; his worked is based merely on his personal curiosity. He keeps wondering why certain things happened certain way in the history, trying to search the most convincing explanation. Diamond’s approach to history is probably the most appealing to me. His texts have a logical structure, smooth and fluent development, and his questions are very stimulating.

Response 4
Schivelbusch is more detailed like Dimond while Limerick concentrated more on stories and events in history. The invention of the railway is of great importance because people can travel faster and more efficient... People throughout America could travel but also use the railway for circulating goods and other necessary products for life. He talks about the differences in railways in America and Europe.
He says that in America the railway ran across natural obstacles while in England everything -the land- was straight and labor was cheap so it was easier for them to travel. he also compares the railway to the steamboat which practically followed each other(similar designs, lines... )He also a little bit obsessed for geography since he looks on where are and how situated the railways in Europe and America-similarity to Diamond.

Response 5
Schievelbusch’s The Railway Journey was basically about the growth of railroads in Europe and America. He shows the differences between the development which were caused by the different price of labor and land as well as geography in terms of size and terrain. He mainly focuses on technological improvement (steamboats, railways). This is very similar to Diamond, who states that the technological advantage was the reason Pizzaro conquered the Incas. But unlike Diamond, Schievelbusch does not go back in time to find the answers.
Limerick’s Empire of Innocence consisted of stories of ordinary people who lived at that time. She goes to detail about the motives and reasons behind actions of these people. Schievelbusch does the same thing with railroads. The differences between American and European railways are described in detail as well as the reasons why there was need to make a difference. But unlike Limerick, Schievelbusch does not use stories, rather quotations and citations from people directly and indirectly involved in the process of designing and building railroads.
He also shows, what impact the development of railroads had on two cultures. In America it opened up the Western lands, supporting the Manifest Destiny (they had a God given right to expand westward). In Europe it destroyed the nature and perception of time and space. But it is clear that the growth of railroads helped people to travel faster, thus bring them closer together.